High Tea

Although high tea was a sophisticated tradition completely lost on me, I made it my new favourite (that superfluous ‘u’ is in honour of the fine British tea ingenuity).

As triple elite double glossy metallic Starwood Preferred Members we enjoyed free high tea. Or shall we call it, high fructose.

In lieu of offering a business club with free newspapers and mixed nuts, the Mirage served Platinum Starwood guests high tea from 3-5 in the afternoon. Destroying any semblance of the original English tradition we would walk into the lounge each day with flips flops and sunglasses like two kids celebrating the noise of an ice cream truck sneaking through the neighborhood, and for good reason. The big secret about high tea that no proper Brit would divulge is that high tea has very little to do with tea. It’s all about the sweets. The tea is just an excuse to inhale sugar and refined flour goodness. Oh, and there were some finger sandwiches that I carefully ignored.

Adding to the spectacle, they delivered the treats in one of those three plate towers – the afternoon tower of power. Could there be anything better than high tea to break the monotony of in lying in the sun? I think not.

Sheraton Mirage Resort

Cape Tribulation & Daintree Rainforest

We saddled up the Camry around 9:00AM at the hotel and took off to the north. Our drive into the Daintree region took about 90 minutes and included a car ferry across the Daintree River. The landscape became noticeably greener the further we drove.

Mouth of the Daintree River as a backdrop

The road hugging the coast is tight and winding but the traffic is thin and slow – most people were enjoying the scenery like us. We stopped at a couple pullovers, but eventually made our way to a driveway leading to the Cape Tribulation beach. We parked the car and walked over to some commotion in the woods behind us. It was a Cassowary. This bird was massive. We stood at the edge of the brush and took a couple photos from about 25 feet away.

Cassowary through the trees

We walked back past the car on the way to the beach and saw the most unnerving sign.

And I quote:

CAUTION

A large cassowary may be present in this area. Naturally cassowaries are shy and reclusive animals however this animal has been approaching people. Any such bold behavior creates a potentially dangerous situation to people and the cassowary.

Under no circumstances should you approach any cassowary, keep your distance and do not run. If the cassowary approaches you, back away while making loud noises (clap, yell).

And a search of Wikipedia delivered this little gem after we returned.

“The 2004 edition of the Guinness World Records lists the cassowary as the world's most dangerous bird. Normally cassowaries are very shy but when disturbed can lash out dangerously with their powerful legs. During World War II American and Australian troops stationed in New Guinea were warned to steer clear of the birds. They are capable of inflicting fatal injuries to an adult human. Usually, attacks are the result of provocation. Wounded or cornered birds are particularly dangerous. Cassowaries, deftly using their surroundings to conceal their movements, have been known to out-flank organized groups of human predators. Cassowaries are considered to be one of the most dangerous animals to keep in zoos, based on the frequency and severity of injuries incurred by zookeepers.

A cassowary's three-toed feet have sharp claws; the dagger-like middle claw is 120 mm (5 inches) long. This claw is particularly dangerous since the Cassowary can use it to kill an enemy, disemboweling it with a single kick. They can run up to 50 km/h (32 mph) through the dense forest.”

Passing a cassowary on the road was the least of our worries

I also found numerous accounts of things going wrong around cassowaries.

In April of 1995, Doon McColl was jogging along this trail, when she heard a noise behind her. She turned to see a full size adult cassowary running after her, so she ran like hell and then climbed a tree. The big bird waited below for hours later until it finally wandered off. A week later her boyfriend, Ray Willetts, was also chased. He tried to lose the bird in the jungle and spent the day crashing through thorns and lawyer cane while the huge bird followed effortlessly.

I recall listening to a local Cairns radio station where a bloke rang up to tell his cassowary adventure and when the DJ started making a joke out of it the man on the phone became agitated and said; look mate, it was not f#&#ing funny, I never been so scared in all my life!

One day in 2003 several men were training as guides for Mason's guided walks in Cape Tribulation when they encountered a cassowary on one of the trails in the rainforest. Rather than to go behind a tree they chose to run and if there's anything a cassowary regards good fun it is chasing people so they ran for miles with the big bird in pursuit. The national parks ranger in Cape Tribulation gets 'cassowary attack' reports from time to time from the tourists but all that has usually happened is that they were chased for some distance, if the bird doesn't catch up with you that means he is not trying to, as they can easily run three times as fast as people.

Two cassowaries with two chicks often hangout on the beach and around the picnic area at Cape Tribulation beach and this has resulted several times in encounters of the bird kind. One of the crew members of Rum Runner reef trips was chased around the picnic area for some time, doing circles around trees, even his football dodging techniques did not help, and he finally ran in to the sea to escape the territorial cassowary that would not give up.

Whilst picking mangosteens, I was standing under the trees looking up - Buttons my dog was sitting beside me. I heard this hissing noise beside me and jumped behind the mangosteen tree to get out of the way of whatever was behind me. It was an adult cassowary and we happened to be between her and her two chicks about 4 metres away. In the flash of a second, the adult bird literally took a huge jump and landed on the sitting dog. Her foot caught Buttons side and with my cries of "run Buttons, run....." we both scrambled along the row of trees and away from the very agitated cassowary. The chicks never seemed disturbed by the event and went on grazing along the fruit tree rows. Buttons went to the Mossman Vet for stitches (12) and I went to pay the bill of $260. This adult cassowary has successfully raised many chicks that we know of and from now on our dogs will stay close to the house and not accompany us to the orchard.

A couple was on the way down from Mount Sorrow when they were chased by a large cassowary. When all attempts to shake off the bird or to stand their ground failed they laid down in the mud and played dead. This calmed the bird, that had been hissing and breathing heavily before. Unfortunately the bird then sat down next to them and kept them prisoner, every time they made the slightest move the cassowary would get up and make threatening moves again. After about 40 minutes of being kept prisoner two other hikers came past on the track and the cassowary got up and went after them, and the lucky couple got up and rapidly made their way down the hill and back to their cabin at Rainforest Hideaway.

Anyway. It was unknowingly a near-death experience and we are survivors. Amy and I now appreciate every second that we are alive.

The beach a Cape Tribulation is perfectly serene. Like other beaches in Far North Queensland, the ghost crabs get to work on the beach a couple of hours after the tide rolls out and put the beach through an amazing visual transformation in about an hour.

To eat they scoop up sand with their lightning fast claws, extract the nutrients out of the sand and leave behind millions of little balls of clean sand in a design best described as organized chaos.

The little dudes are ridiculously hard to see. To a casual observer the beach appears to transform magically with no tangible influence from crabs or anything else. The trick is that the crabs will disappear into their unbelievably deep holes when any other creature is within a football field of their workmanship. Of course I’m much too persistent to let this shifty escape mechanism thwart my scientific accomplishments. I learned that if you camp silently in on area for 5-6 minutes they will become unconcerned and reappear from the depths. You must remain perfectly still; even a big eye blink will send them scurrying back down.

Eventually I was surrounded by dozens of quarter-sized crabs gobbling sand and tossing pea-sized balls behind them. My only disappointment was that I had convinced myself that when they come up they get into a good flurry of activity by singing the chorus of Memphis Bleek’s “We Ballin.”

~~ We ballin. Ready for war, pass the weed and hennessy, I hear it callin ~~

Here are some photos…

These shorties are ballers

Jellyfish dissolve your hips? OMG!

Cape Trib

7 Days on the Great Barrier Reef

This could easily overwhelm the trip report. So here you will get the abridged version. Those who aren’t afraid to get prune hands can read the details here: waterproofjournal.blogspot.com

The original impetus for our trip to Australia was a seven-day live-aboard dive trip with Mike Ball Expeditions on the Spoilsport. We signed up for the dive portion of the trip 18 months in advance and had thought about it every day since. Our dive shop in NJ, Treasure Cove Divers, organized the diving and we planned to meet up with a few familiar faces on the boat.We embarked in Cairns so we left Port Douglass in mid afternoon to meet up with the other divers and boat crew. After dinner near the port in Cairns the crew loaded the boat and we stepped aboard for the best experience Australia has to offer.

After some introductions and briefings in the saloon deck we made our way down to our cabins to sleep while the skipper, Larry, led us out to sea. Diving Day One>>>

Diving Day One: Giant Clams are… uhhh… Giant

We woke up far out in the ocean after a slightly bumpy night of travel. We stammered up stairs to the saloon and began, what would become, our daily ritual. A light breakfast, a dive briefing and then underwater by 8AM. After the first dive we would have warm breakfast then head back under.

Our first dive on a site called Challenger Bay was a good first exposure to our dive week on the Great Barrier Reef. It seemed like a decent cross section of marine life and you couldn’t really go much past 60 feet deep. We were greeted by schools of jacks under the boat. The coral heads were broad and healthy.

Here is a quick compilation of our diving

We visited Challenger Bay twice during the week – the second time on the return trip south. This first dive produced great visibility and then on the way back the visibility was gone.

The next dive site, Pixie Gardens, was an astonishingly beautiful part of the reef. Looking back on the trip I’m surprised Pixie Gardens does not get the same level of fanfare afforded Cod Hole and the Osprey Reef sites. Of course the sea conditions have a lot of influence over the perceived quality of a dive site – the day we dropped in on Pixie Gardens it was nearly perfect visibility and no decipherable current.

The coral columns were massive and exceptionally healthy. The giant clams really stood out here. They were meganormous - cartoonish in size – like seeing one of those big chair photo booths at a carnival. It was the type of thing that plays with your head a little.

We also saw the first of many lionfish. Lionfish steal the pomp and circumstance award underwater. They splay long spikes and are decorated with deeply contrasting stripes. They are quite inactive and don’t bother fleeing when larger fish are nearby. Lionfish carry a strong venom in their spikes that keeps them amply protected. Fortunately they don’t enjoy attacking divers. If I were to reincarnate as a fish I might prefer to be a lionfish.

Juvenile Lionfish

We ended the day by diving at Pixie Gardens on a night dive. As it is with all night dives the reef was transformed into a completely different place. It’s like swapping the setting on a large Broadway stage. It’s hard to even recognize the reef as the same location. We saw our first cuddle fish and as many little shrimp as there are people in NYC.

Dive brief time

Giant clam

Amy above a giant clam

Sunset on the reef

Diving Day Two: A Large Place with Large Animals

A wake up knock and some eye rubbing and we were once again in the deep blue. The morning dives were at False Entrance and Admiralty Anchor. The latter was appropriately named for an ancient anchor lodged deep into a coral tunnel.

During the night Skip ferried us north in the Coral Sea to Osprey Reef. At this point I believe we were about 16-18 hours away from the mainland of Australia. So this is certainly not the type of diving you could get on a day trip. In fact, while we were in a dive shop in Port Douglass the shop owner commented how badly she wanted to dive Osprey Reef. The irony is that if you have a dive shop to run and only have access to day boats, you’d never make it out this far. We felt extremely fortunate to be there.

Within minutes of descending onto False Entrance we saw two white tip reef sharks resting on the bottom. Then another. And another.

The coral heads were split by a large sand channel that dropped off onto an enormous wall. I was a little startled to see that we were down at 115 feet and there was still this massive wall well below us.

White tip cruising the wall

Diving offers an amazing freedom of weightlessness and sometimes there is very little natural indication of depth and speed of the current. Any diver, even the most careful, will tell you that they have at some point looked at their dive computer with a slight bit of shock. We are very vigilant divers, but every once in a while we’ll enjoy the environment so much that we’ll have to course correct. I personally find that after about 45 feet my body doesn’t feel much affect from the changes in water pressure. So I could go from 50 feet to 150 feet and not notice unless I looked at my computer or had some natural structure for a frame of reference. I’ve now established a sort of an internal clock that keeps me checking my dive computer periodically.

After ascending to 50-60 feet we enjoy the density of marine life for a while and made our way back to the boat.

At Admiralty Anchor we dropped in and encountered a stronger current. The coral heads were tall and immense. We dove this site twice and on the second dive we entered the swim through to find the “anchor.” We also some more white tips and a lionfish.

Later in the afternoon we dove at a site called North Horn which I will talk about in detail later.

After a couple days of diving I found myself struck by the size of the reefs and how you could be on the edge of a reef and its jade green color would sprawl out toward horizon as far as the eye could see. Just magnificent.

Overlooking the reef

Amy engaged in our daily ear-drying ritual

Sweetlips

The aforementioned anchor

Diving Day Three: The Super Bowl of Diving

We started the day on a drift dive at Round the Horn. The inflatable tenders shuttled us out in groups of 4-6 and dropped us off to descend and drift back home with the current. This dive site was highly anticipated because it is a popular place to stake out and look for manta rays.

The current runs south to north along the coral wall at a pretty good clip so we took the tenders out about a kilometer and jumped in for the ride. After traveling about half the distance of the wall there is a ridge that hangs out looking into the deep blue and is often a spot where mantas will glide by. We descended to about 85-90 ft and camped on the ridge peering out. On the first dive the ridge was littered with barracuda, but no mantas. On our second dive we hung out on the ridge again trying to stay put in the very powerful current. We were getting close to our no-decompression limits so we slowly began swimming back to the main wall. Within just a few minutes a massive manta appeared underneath us making a similar track toward the wall about 50ft below. The video will not do this justice because you cannot get a true sense of the size, but these are enormous and graceful animals that seem utterly dreamlike. Rather than swimming, they appear to fly calmly through the water in slow motion. The sight of a 12ft manta ray gliding in the current perfectly illustrates the word “peace."

The first massive manta passed and then turned into the deep just as a second manta arrived. I was lucky enough to get video of both.

Watching mantas beats the shit out of network TV

In the afternoon we returned to North Horn for a full on shark feed. North Horn culminates in a perfect amphitheater with a coral head in the center. Our group arranged themselves like students in a semicircle lecture hall and then the dive crew brought the chum down on a rope for the feast. I’m a little typed-out right now and the video tells the story better than I could. Enjoy…

Kinda like a trip to Sizzler

The Spoilsport from afar

Donna spotting dive bubbles

Dave engaged in Zodiac trade

Great Barrier Reef: Sharks

Having been asked dozens of times whether or not we saw sharks, and if so, were we scared, I felt compelled to create a post and video that was dedicated our shark sightings over the six days of diving.

Some of you may just prefer to jump right to the video. It quickly answers whether or not we saw any sharks. And the videos I captured are just a small fragment of all the shark encounters. By the second or third day of diving we stopped counting and didn’t even bother point to one another when a shark appeared out of the blue.

Amy and something that could eat Amy.

Most of the sharks we saw were in the 4’-5’ range with the occasional grey shark in the 6’-8’ range. The grey sharks also have a much more hulking stature.The question of whether or not we were ever scared is an easy one. I was never scared, but I was vigilant. I think this feeling formed on other dives, but became perfectly clear on this trip. Just by watching the sharks swim and stalk around the reef you can sense the physical power they are keeping in reserve. And you come to realize that if they really wanted to snack on you they could, easily. As a diver with maneuverability equivalent to a minivan in a Formula 1 race, there is very little you could do thwart an attack. They can come take a bite anytime they please. Therefore, a dozen or so encounters make you realize that they have no inherent interest in divers. So no, I didn’t feel any fear.

With that said, the power that you sense in them makes you very conscious not to provoke them by accident. Any marine animal small or large will protect itself if threatened. Although you might not think twice about getting close to a small lobster, when you are near a shark the risk calculator in your head calmly repeats, “it ain’t worth it homie.”

The most surprising experience we had was on a night dive. We were just poking along the coral wall shining ours light in little nooks. The lights give you a fairly small field of view. In an instant two shiny green eyes flew underneath us at an alarming rate. We shone a light in the direction it was heading and realized it was a shark on the hunt. I will say that this was a bit unsettling. But still zero interest in us. And very cool to see it going out for dinner!

In one case a white tip shark swam up behind me and overtook me on right. For a moment I swam as quickly as I could to take a video of him as he a passed [see it at the 3:00 min mark of the shark compilation video below]. Despite pumping my legs as hard as possible, I couldn’t stay close – and he was just gliding at the equivalent of a slow crawl. These are performance machines in the water - well honed competitors. I think you just have to respect that. We certainly did.

Fins to the left. Fins to the right.

Diving Day Four: Cod Hole

This dive site is justifiably considered one of the world’s best. We descended on Cod Hole three times in one day. In the late morning and early afternoon we used the tenders to go out on a drift dive past the North wall and the third time we descended the boat’s tag and mooring lines into the “hole” part of the dive site.

The tender buzzing to and fro

Cod Hole introduces you to, as you might expect, cod. Big cod. Cod with presence. Cod built like sofas. Cod with five gallon mouths.

Of the drift dives we floated along a coral wall for 15 minutes or so and then ended up in the hole part of Cod Hole. It’s a great diving spot because of the size of life, the clear water and white sand bottom that acts as great canvas for the colorful fish.

The giant potato cod hang out in the hole and remained parked like bouncers at an exclusive nightclub. They don’t seem to mind us tiny divers flailing around them in amazement. We did however hear stories of ignorant pushy divers who had actually managed to get their heads stuck in the cod’s mouth. We heard this event rarely ended in death, but I have to imagine that their pride was hurt as much as anything. How to you go back home and explain the ring of teeth marks around your neck? A shark attack might be recounted with astonishment and pride from surviving, but a fat lazy cod swallowing a diver is, in my opinion, embarrassingly funny.

Amy next to potato cod

Skip Larry in the bridge

Cuttlefish at night

Diving Day Five: Sweatin’ the Small Stuff

During the night we moved south and ended up at Fan Belt and Pixie Wall adjacent to Pixie Gardens which we had dropped onto a few days prior. The visibility had decreased dramatically and the only type of diving that made any sense was what I like to call “nook and cranny” diving. You basically stay within a few feet of the coral and investigate small creatures like nudibranchs, Christmas tree worms, and the heads of moray eels poking out.

Christmas Tree Worms

Nudibranch on my glove: Chromodoris elizabethina

Midday we dove on a site called Lighthouse Bommie. Bommie is a decidedly Aussie term used to describe an isolated coral reef head. In this case it was a bommie with a shape resembling a lighthouse. It also reminded me of the column of Marcus Aurelius in Rome. The coral decorated the structure much like the like stone carvings wrapping a Roman column.

Lighthouse Bommie was mobbed by marine life including lionfish, worms of all sorts and even a sea snake – yet another deadly animal fully prepared to remind us that a comprehensive life insurance policy is a shrewd part of any financial plan.

With all that however, we will likely remember Lighthouse Bommie for the two sea turtles lounging on it. Starting from the bottom of the and slowly spiraling up, we came across the turtles hanging on a small shelf about halfway to the surface – maybe 45 feet under water. We had seen numerous sea turtles on other dive trips, but these two had a demeanor that was truly friendly and any diver can tell you that a sea turtle’s massive eyes peering at you captures the imagination like nothing else in the ocean. I know it was all Amy could do to keep herself from hugging them and inviting them to our place for New Year’s.

Teenage Mutant Ninjas

Nudibranch?

Nudibranch: Chromodoris willani

Diving Day Six: Le Fin

On the final day of diving we only descended on one location, Steve’s Bommie. Our dive master explained that the bommie was named after a diver who lost his life on a nearby reef.

Similar to Lighthouse Bommie, this reef’s isolated location meant that all sorts of life gravitated to the coral for food and protection. The bommie offered a number of strange creatures including a couple of camouflaged stonefish and flame file shell. We also came across a number of large anemones hosting the overly dramatic and erratic clown fish.

At one point I turned my head away from the coral and all I could see was a wall of schooling blue lined snapper easily the size of an IMAX screen and so dense that you could not see through them. The top of the reef also flickered with thousands of what I think were purple anthias.

School is clearly in session

We slowly surfaced from our six day dream, dried off and sat down for lunch and conversation.

I spent most of the afternoon getting all of our photos and video in order and then, as with all Mike Ball dive trips, we spent the last evening partying with a BBQ and plenty of beer. To make things more interesting our last night was also Halloween and I marked the occasion by dressing up as Crocodile Dundee.

The following morning we woke up dry-mouthed and docked back in Cairns.

Anemone fish

Byron Bay: So nice it's named thrice

Byron Bay Lighthouse

Shortly after disembarking from the Spoilsport we rolled into the Cairns airport for a flight to Brisbane on Virgin Blue. After an uneventful three hour flight we hopped into yet another Toyota Camry and aimed it south toward the surfer town of Byron Bay. Below Brisbane is the area called the Gold Coast full of beach hotels and amusement parks. Once you pass all of that Orlando-like consumerism it quiets down again as you get close to Byron Bay.

We pulled into the little town of Byron and we were only prepared with the name of our resort, the Byron at Byron. Although we anticipated it being easy to find, we drove around a few blocks before my male ego would allow us to ask for directions. The first three folks we asked had no clue and were no more local than we were and gave sideways looks as if saying, “Did you just ask me where the Bryon at Bryon in Byron is? Are you two drunk?” Trust me, it gets old telling people we went to Bryon and we stayed at the Byron at Byron. Thankfully my name is not Grant Grant from Grant, Alabama.

Even with the uninspiring naming convention, I highly recommend staying at the Byron at Byron if you are truly looking to relax. I would describe the design as "contemporary wilderness." Each set of suites is tucked away in the rain forest and the surrounding sounds and greenery are ideal if you are seeking escapism. The interior of each suite has a modern but functional design and packs all the little luxuries into a small footprint.

The resort, a former wildlife sanctuary, is spread out across the swampy forest and you can walk throughout the grounds on a system of boardwalks. If you trek to the southeast edge of the resort you can hear the Pacific’s familiar roaring and just over a sand bar you’ll happen across Tallow beach – where we rarely saw more than 3-4 other people. It was truly sleepy.

In addition to great takeout food and overpriced surf shops, Byron Bay is recognizable for its striking lighthouse high on the cape head.

The Bryon at Byron in Byron

Tallow Beach

The Pool at The Byron at Byron in Byron

Dissapointed that they didn't have "sliders" here

Lennox Head: Take the Nestea® Plunge

On the advice of a colleague, we took a day trip about 20 minutes south of Byron Bay into the quainter resort town of Lennox Head. Lennox had all the environmental accouterments of Byron Bay but without feeling so overrun by backpackers and tourists. It’s the type of place where you dream of opening a bookstore and having business hours from 11AM – 2PM. The rest of the time you would be surfing, bike riding, sunning and otherwise escaping from life’s little burdens.

We first drove down the small strip of shops and restaurants to get our bearings and have lunch before returning to the other side of town to visit Lennox’s famous Lake Ainsworth. The lake is unique because it is surrounded by tea trees which drip into the water and for all intents and purposes this phenomenon creates a massive bowl of Lipton Tea you can swim and frolic in. (note: I didn't use any color tricks in the photo below).

While looking for a place to grab a bite we were involved in some accidental hang gliding. Which btw, I imagine is markedly better than a hang gliding accident – although I thankfully have no personal evidence to prove that assumption.

We came to the south end of town and noticed a couple gliders in the air ahead of us. They were launching off of a cliff head called Pat Moreton point and I pulled the car into the parking area to watch for a second. The cliff itself was stunning so we decided to hike up to the top and take a few photos. The gliders flew overhead and landed peacefully while we were making our way back to the car. I snapped a couple photos of the gliders as one of the pilots asked us if we wanted to go up. I did! Real bad like!

I told the guy that we might think about it over lunch but by the time we got to the car I had made up my mind.

Amy said, “you go.” I said, “you too.”

“We’re in,” I said to the smiling Aussie.

We each paired up with a pilot for the tandem flight. My new friend and sole/soul protector was named Ash. Amy can’t remember the name of her bloke (Aim, if it comes to you leave it in the comments below - I need some commentz yo).

We suited up in what I have always thought looked like caterpillar costumes. The whole harness then clips into the top of the glider with a massive carabiner. The rigorous training, which lasted all of 15 seconds, was “when I run, you run and then once we get up to a comfortable height I’ll have you put your feet in the bottom of the bag.” Officially certified by Ash, 2007.

We walked out slowly hunched under the glider and then stopped to wait for the wind to become predictable. After about 30 seconds Ash said “let’s go” and we started running like chickens for a feed trough. I don’t think we took more then 5 steps before we were ripped from the earth. I immediately started to question the positioning of my harness in the "groinal" region. I thought, “this could be a painful flight it I don’t have this thing situated correctly.” Luckily once I put my legs back in the bag the harness felt fine where it counts.

As we were rising I joked, “Did you learn to hang glide just a couple days ago?” And Ash responded, “actually, this morning.”

Amy and her pilot took off shortly after us.

Turns out Continental Airlines won't accept hang gliding miles

The sensation was, at first, a little shocking and breath stealing. I guess I didn’t expect to feel such a sense of exposure, but dangling hundreds of feet in the air in a silly caterpillar costume seems to trigger something in the rationale side of your brain that says, “oh now look what you’ve gotten yourself into, you &$%*ing idiot!”

I did settle in after a few minutes and really began to enjoy the idea of flying. At one point there was a large hawk under us making nearly the same motions in the air and it literally felt dreamlike. I completely understand how someone could become addicted to hang gliding – even without having the adrenaline junky syndrome.

In all reality I learned that Ash had been flying for over 20 years and both he and Amy’s pilot were professional hang gliders who have traveled the world to compete.

These pictures are for you Andrew G, I know how much you like Lennox so I said to myself “What can I get Andrew for Christmas? I know, I’ll go to Australia, make my way toward Lennox and then rent a hang glider. While floating perilously in the air I will capture the perfect bird’s eye picture of the town. Then I will return and give him the beautiful photos as a present. He will love it!”

This is how I normally spot restuarants for lunch

Spying on the neighbors

Footage (or should I say Wingage?)

The landing was short and sweet. One large 180 degree turn while dropping quickly was all it took, and at the last second we slowed to a soft hover and landed – like a helicopter coming slowly down on its target.

We landed with such a high. Even though Amy and I did nothing other than hang like a bag of potatoes, the sense of accomplishment was awesome. We had enormous grins all the way to lunch. And then the remainder of the afternoon, we would both start to laugh spontaneously knowing what the other was thinking... “We flew today.”

I must say how amazed I was with Amy’s courage. I have a history of seeking out needlessly dangerous stuff, but for someone who gets queasy even thinking about roller coasters, she saddled-up like a Red Bull Flugtag pro. We both agreed afterward that we probably went because it was spur-of-the-moment. Had we thought about it for a long time and tried to fit it into an itenerary, we probably would have just spent the first half of the day walking the beach and picking out spots for our future bookstore .

Amy!

Lake Ainsworth - Tea Partay

Ballina: Enjoying the Insecurities

We travelled to Sydney on a prop plane out of the Ballina Airport, your typical tiny one-strip airport with an unstaffed self-return rental car desk where you just drop your keys in a hole and presumably a rental agent will pick them up a few hours/days/weeks later.

This airport was truly off the grid – our tickets were handwritten. Handwritten!?!

Unlike small US airports, it wasn’t just easy to get through security, there wasn’t any security to speak of. As if by law and funded by careless tax payers, there was a metal detector and x-ray belt station, but a sign simply said “CLOSED.”

The same man that wrote out our tickets and took our luggage said “time to board” and we headed for a single glass door with our tickets held out to show. And to further prove the trouble-free approach to flying out of Ballina, no one even cared to look at our tickets before we got on the plane. You literally could have walked into the airport and stepped onto to free flight to Sydney - not a soul would have noticed.

The Ballina Airport was truly refreshing, if not a little shocking, because in my opinion, small US airports are more difficult to pass through. I often find the small-town security employees take their job much too seriously and treat the situation as if West Moose Pass is at Threat-Level Red.

Ballina: just another way to detox from American logistics.

Low tech tickets

Australian News: Covering the Biggest Small Country

Imagine if USA Today covered car fires and a close vote in a school board decision to extend classes 10 minutes at the South Des Moines Junior High School. Well that is what happens in Australia. Each day we grabbed one of the national papers so we wouldn’t drive our car into a massive typhoon that everyone else seemed to know about.

The national papers rail off neighborhood names in cities and everyone in the country seemingly knows the exact location. Imagine reading about a fender bender in the Munjoy Hill section of Portland, Maine. The article just says, “Two cars collide in Munjoy Hill” The article doesn’t go on to say that the accident occurred in the Munjoy Hill neighborhood of Portland, in the state of Maine, in Northeast US. It just says Munjoy Hill. You would be totally lost. Well apparently not in Australia.

Australia is equivalent to the US in land mass, but it acts like one metropolitan area. And considering that there are only 20 million people it makes sense. It’s like a city of people who happen to have neighbors thousands of miles down the road.

As we came in on the plane a quick video introduction outlined how the vast majority of Aussies live in cities and within 30 minutes of the ocean. I kept picturing a ring of people, similar to a wedding reception dance floor, surrounding the two drunken fools dancing in the center of the country.

Good-on-ya mates keep dancing.